As I go about my daily business in the real world and online I keep coming across people with the mindset of ‘I deserve this because… it’s me!’
A closer inspection reveals an elaborated version of this prevalent and perverted form of thinking. It goes something like this: ‘I’m super-duper awesome for a reason I think is really special so I deserve the best of what the world has to offer and I’m not obliged to do anything to prove this claim.’
I mean… WHAT?!
Some even go as far as saying that they’re a victim of [insert whatever comes to mind], which on the surface sounds like something that is sympathy-worthy, but with a closer look they’re just looking for an excuse to guilt-trip other into giving them things they didn’t have to work for but many others have had to work for with a struggle.
Nowadays, perpetual victimhood is seen as a must-have blessing which many people want to exploit.
It’s this avoidance of struggle, among other reasons, which explains why many people will choose to sit comfortably while demanding that everything is given to them without even having to lift a finger.
These people genuinely believe the world owes them something.
This mentality has been triggered by kids being told how special they are and that last place is the same as 1st place – Mr and Mrs Parents say: ‘As long as you finish the race my child, you’re still a champion.’ This turns the child away from self-development to ‘I’m good enough because I exist.’
This is further supported by the narcissism instilled by ‘Likes’ on Facebook, ‘Double-tap’ on Instagram, Photoshop, the ability to take 1000s of selfies in the comfort of your bathroom, which has elevated many young people to Kings or Queens of the world, of which many haven’t got the ability to put a roof over their heads.
This has given many a sense of self-entitlement and has created a generation who think they deserve the world just because they breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide (even this doesn’t require conscious effort unless you’re actually working hard).
When we replace a sense of service and gratitude with a sense of entitlement and expectation, we quickly see the demise of our relationships, society, and economy. – Steve Maraboli
Expectations have increased so much that it has led to serious dysfunction in our society, such as, 50% of marriages ending up in divorce, leaving children emotionally scarred for life.
This is indicative of most people not being satisfied even though most people in Western society have their basic needs met and even have some luxurious pleasures to enjoy (what more can one possibly want? Silly question… a lot more!)
Yet, this can never quench the thirst of self-entitlement because it’s essentially wanting perfection in everything, but as a reader of LME you understand that perfection really and truly doesn’t exist.
Hence, self-entitlement is a grand delusion. The slogan is: ‘let me do no work, but let me eat because it’s ME ME ME™’ – doesn’t this sound like a disturbing self-obsession syndrome to you?
I don’t know how many romantic comedies or Disney movies these individuals have binged on, but the reality is that if you want anything good, maintainable and meaningful, you must work hard for it. Waiting for someone to give you things is never the answer friends.
You see, these people have the ‘sow then reap’ analogy all wrong – they think you can reap without sowing or that you can wait for someone else to sow while they standby and wait for the harvest.
The sad reality is that the people who live and breathe self-entitlement are living in a fantasy and will remain unsatisfied and fall behind in life for as long as they continue to choose to wait for things to be handed to them.
Self-entitlement is an excuse for laziness
Making universal prosperity a right is the surest way to universal poverty. – J.S.B. Morse
A huge reason for the epidemic that is self-entitlement is the coincidental emergence of the technological era.
This emergence grew self-entitlement in two ways: it quickly spread, like wildfire, the mantra that everyone is so equal that everything should be distributed equally even if someone is a lazy bum sitting at home doing nothing and relying on microwave meals to survive.
At the other extreme you have the consultant neurosurgeon who has spent most of their life mastering a skill that not many people can execute.
I’m sure a reasonable person would agree that they’re both not entitled to the same things, but this is what society tells us and does everything it can to encourage.
The other way technology has grown self-entitlement is by allowing robots to become our slaves. If you’re used to being a master of course you’re going to want to stay as a master because it takes the stress away… supposedly.
Today we have robot cleaners. All we need to do is set the robot to clean at certain times of the week and we can have a spotless house without having to do any work. Wouldn’t this artificial form of a master-slavery relationship give the master an early onset of bone disease?
If one wants the ever so elusive ‘six-pack abs’, without any long-term exercise or attention to sound nutrition, a doctor can be hired to undergo a relatively short procedure called a liposuction. You could say this person earned it because of the payment but it was essentially a cheap shot to earning it.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves. – Abraham Lincoln
The truth of the matter is that it’s only a temporary fix and it doesn’t deal with the actual problem that got the person overweight in the first place. Therefore, the poor health remains.
If you want a long-lasting healthy body, YOU’VE GOT TO EARN IT!
You can’t ever cheat the fact you must work to earn what you want, because even if you have things handed to you, you won’t understand how to maintain or secure them, which is a headache.
It’s better to do things the proper way: get put on the ropes, learn the ropes, succeed and then actually truly enjoy what you’ve earned.
Today, young people can easily go to restaurant and avoid learning how to cook. They wait for their parents to prepare their food when the parents are necessarily busy, while the young person’s hunger threshold has exceeded tolerable levels, but insist their parents prepare food for them because they feel ‘special’ due to overpampering throughout childhood – this is no joke.
So there exists people who would drive themselves mad because they’re so precious that they can’t intervene in their lives to give themselves what they want. What exactly makes these people so special again? I’ve forgotten.
I’m glad my parents brought me up with the mindset that I have work for what I want and not expect it because of whatever self-serving reason I could have chosen to expect the treatment of a prince from my parents. To be honest, it all just sounds ridiculous.
The life experience you receive is the sum of your contribution to it
What you put into life is what you get out of it. – Clint Eastwood
The way this world works is that everyone is seen as an object (there isn’t much emotion involved, don’t take it personally) which provides a service and your ability to perform a service is the measure by which you are assigned value, a wage or given a promotion.
If you slack off your boss can fire you. It for this reason you can crack jokes with your boss one day and the next day receive a letter from the same boss you cracked jokes with saying: ‘You’re fired, don’t come back here or we’ll call the police’, but obviously written in a pleasant and formal tone.
Rewards are not an entitlement, they have to be deserved, they have to be earned. – Murad S. Shah
This is how life is: your perceived worth is based on what you give out not what you can take out – cement this line to your bathroom mirror, nothing can ever refute this, absolutely nothing.
Have a sense of responsibility, not a sense of entitlement.
Even access to clean water has to be earnt
Access to water is seen as ‘free’ by many, but you still have to indirectly pay for it by paying rent and taxes. The way you get the opportunity to pay for it is by earning money.
If you choose not to do it this way you have to pay for an area of land and dig, dig and dig to access water.
Some will say, ‘but access to clean drinking water is a human right’. To this I agree, however, how willing are you to dig the ground to access clean water, and go through the process of cleaning it up to make sure you don’t fall ill.
Many people died going through the process of extracting clean water. These people earnt the right to access this water, so what makes you think you have the right the drink this water without paying your dues?
Death reminds us that life is a temporary privilege, not an endless right. – Craig D. Lounsbrough
Just because in some countries, as far as I am aware, you don’t get a water bill, you’ll be paying for it indirectly because of the work it took to extract that water. In life, you pretty much have to pay for everything and there’s no escaping this fact.
This suggests this you even have to earn the right to stay alive when you’re of age to go it alone away from your parents who raised you. Only babies are entitled to stuff and I’m sure everyone reading this isn’t a baby, or are you?
You can’t rely on others to give you the life you want
If you rely on others for things, you’ll only end up disappointed and start resenting life; it’s a huge reason why many people are depressed and have suicidal thoughts because they feel others have let them down and feel these people didn’t fully support them.
There’s a whole generation growing up thinking… the government exists to care for them. – Dave Ramsey
People can help you on your journey but don’t expect anyone to do it all for you – it’s selfish, asinine, and unrealistic. The earlier one gets out of this mentality, the easier and faster contentment can be found.
If really believe you must expect your dream life to be handed to you, while you’re capable of creating this life for yourself by working hard to earn it, then you may have problems you have to deal with – e.g. laziness, ego-problems and unmanaged insecurities and narcissist tendencies to name a few.
It’s important to deal with these to realise that you have to earn a living not expect a living. All people have their own lives to live and work really hard to get what they want, as far as not using underhanded methods is concerned.
You can’t just expect people to work hard for you just to benefit without you having an input. What kind of life is that?
During your last days, are you going to tell your children and grandchildren that they should live a self-entitled life, because you believe relying on the government or others is the way to live a meaningful life? What kind of example is that?
With all the talk of independence in our society, it’s actually a severe form of dependence to rely on others to hand things to you because ‘you’re special’. Every human being is made of the same substance – what makes one person more special than another?
Want to a certain kind of life? Well, you’ve got to earn it. Go out there and work hard.
You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was. – Abraham Lincoln
Take pride in hard work well done and you’ll have the life you want and deserve.
Waiting for people to hand things to you will just lead to a life of discontentment, insatiability, obsession over perfection and will very likely end in self-destruction in any of its unpleasant manifestations.
Always bear in mind that the world doesn’t owe anybody anything.
This should inspire you to go out there and get what you want because if you don’t… well, no-one is going to do it for you.
What steps have you taken to earn the life you desire? Comment below.
If this post resonates with you why don’t you share it. Maybe the outlook of this message will inspire someone else to start living the life they were born to live.
Image credit: Today’s earning / farhana afroze / Flickr